When I was fourteen years old, my stepfather became an American citizen. I remember helping him study for his citizenship test, and those questions were not easy. As I have grown older, I've often wondered how many born-in-the-USA citizens would pass the citizenship test if they had to take it. I usually wonder this while I'm waiting for thirty minutes in the checkout line at Wal-Mart behind people who can't figure out how to write a check, or when I'm stuck at an intersection because the concept of a 4-way stop is too complex for many motorists to grasp.
Although I have insight into the naturalization process, I never even knew that there is an agency called USCIS.
United States Citizenship and Immigration Services
Like any government agency, USCIS specializes in forms with multiple random numbers and letters strewn together in order to confuse the populace and slow down the process. My introduction to USCIS came after our home study was finally approved, and our agency informed us that we needed to submit an I-800A form.
Of course, this sounds simple. It is not. The purpose of the I-800A is for prospective adoptive parents to apply to be deemed suitable by the US Government to adopt a child from a country that participates in the Hague Convention. China participates in the Hague Convention. Hence, the need to complete the I-800A.
I briefly entertained the idea of buying a child on E-Bay, but then our agency helpfully supplied us with the aptly titled "I-800A Filing Packet", complete with a Table of Contents and several pages of instructions. In addition to the completed I-800A form (shall we create a drinking game out of the term "I-800A"?), we needed the following:
1) A cover letter introducing ourselves to USCIS and listing the documents enclosed with our application
2) Photocopies of our birth certificates
3) A photocopy of our marriage certificate
4) Our original home study
5) Proof of our pre-adoption training
6) A completed G-1145 form, so that we could receive an e-mail or text when our application packet was received by USCIS
7) A completed Supplement 2 form, giving USCIS permission to communicate directly with our adoption agency if needed
8) A check for $720 because, why not?
9) A check to cover the Biometrics Fee, or the cost of fingerprinting each adult in the household. In our case, this worked out to $85 X 2 = $170.
Thankfully, neither Angry Driver nor myself have any history of arrests or divorces, or we would have had the added bonus of completing even more forms.
We (meaning I) dutifully gathered all of the documentation and completed the forms, and our packet was mailed out in February of this year. My text arrived (thank you, G-1145!) on 2/28/14, informing us that USCIS received our application. I congratulated myself on my stellar paperwork skills and settled in for a short wait for approval.
Unfortunately, I quickly discovered that I am not perfect. I know, it was a shock to me too. I forgot to include the $170 biometrics fee. Quickly realizing my mistake, I called USCIS in a panic, hoping to send them a check and keep the process moving. Yeah....no. Did I mention this is a government agency?
When I reached the officer at USCIS, I was told that I could not pay the missing fee because I had to wait for USCIS to mail me a Request For Evidence (RFE), otherwise known a Form I-797C, Notice of Action. This form would officially notify me of my Underpayment of Required Fee. Once I received the RFE, I could mail a check to the lock-box in Texas. Once the check cleared the lock-box, USCIS would take up my application again. Pay before receiving the RFE? Inconceivable!
And so, I waited. And waited. Finally, after two weeks, I called USCIS again to inquire as to when I might expect this RFE. During that phone call, I learned that USCIS employs the classic approach of "Good Cop / Bad Cop"...with a twist.
The Agent who took my call heard about my egregious error. She then spent 3 minutes berating me for failing to include the check for the Biometrics Fee with my original application packet. Whenever she paused for breath, I made sure to apologize profusely and thank her for her concern and understanding of my problem. After telling me that the Agent in charge of unpaid fees (because of course there is an Agent in charge of unpaid fees) would get to it when she gets to it, we said our heartfelt goodbyes.
I swear, not even five minutes later, Agent Fury called me back and sweetly told me that she felt so badly about my situation, she went right over and spoke with the Agent-in-charge-of-unpaid-fees about our case. The RFE would be sent, and was there anything else she could possibly do to help me?
The twist in this story, as you might have already deduced, is that Good Cop and Bad Cop are the same person. Like Fight Club. Or the Lego Movie. Sorry if those were spoilers for you.
I finally received the RFE on 3/27/14, and I mailed out the check for the Biometrics Fee the next day. And then...I waited again. And waited some more. Apparently, the Lock Box people communicate with USCIS via the Pony Express.
I initially believed that my Good Cop / Bad Cop experience with USCIS was a fluke, but it turns out that the
paradigm held true whenever I e-mailed or called USCIS. Initially, there
would be a display of anger and/or contempt. This was inevitably
followed by a near instantaneous outpouring of concern and dedicated
effort. As in, "we told you that you will get a fingerprinting appointment when you get it",
followed by "I personally made sure that this will be taken care of
today." It's kind of dysfunctional, I admit. I almost expected to receive flowers and dinner at a nice restaurant after each verbal harangue.
We finally received our fingerprint date: 5/13/14. The helpful people at China Adopt Talk often spoke of "walking in" early for fingerprinting, but, of course, our state does not allow prospective adoptive parents to walk in early to be fingerprinted. So we waited some more.
Finally, on May 13th, Angry Driver and I drove 2 hours to the assigned federal building in order to be fingerprinted at our appointed time. It was actually pretty cool. The fingerprinting was done electronically, so there was no messy ink and we instantly knew that our fingerprints were accepted. This was in stark contrast to our fingerprinting experience at our local Blahtown Police Department, undertaken for the purpose of our Home Study. Those were standard ink prints. Angry Driver's fingerprints were rejected twice due to poor ridge detail. Apparently, two rejections means the FBI has to accept a person's crummy fingerprints, but I digress.
The employees at the USCIS field office were friendly and efficient. Of course, I missed the old Good Cop / Bad Cop routine, but a good time was still had by all.
In order to keep the fun times rolling, we took the opportunity to visit the Secretary of State's office to have 9 notarized documents state sealed for our dossier. And, guess what! They were all very nice too! Maybe it's the fact that we live in a state known for friendly people, but I have to say that these were the best government workers I've ever encountered.
Since things were going so well, I decided that we should celebrate by dropping a small fortune in little girl's bedroom furniture. That, however, is a story for another day.
Now I will wrap up my tale of the I-800A (drink!)...
Our application was finally approved on 5/19/14, and we received our official I-797, Notice of Action, i.e. Approval Notice, on 5/22/14.
Yesterday!
Hallelujah!
The United States of America has approved us to adopt one or two female children between the ages of zero and 48 months from China. Our 80-day I-800A wait is over!
We can finally wrap up our dossier (I'll explain later) and get this party started! No more singing the I-800A blues for me!
Wait...Hold on...What's this?
I've just learned that the I-800A approves us to adopt a theoretical child or children. Now we need to complete the I-800 process (no "A"), which will approve us to adopt an actual, real, living child. This form is also known as the "Petition to Classify Convention Adoptee as an Immediate Relative".
It's a good thing our agency has a 3 page I-800 Information and Instructions Packet for this very occasion. I've got the I-800 (no A) blue-uuu-huuu-uuuues...
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