The three of us were waiting in the hotel lobby ready to go, as requested by our guide, at 8 o'clock this morning. Unfortunately, John and the driver were stuck in traffic and didn't arrive to pick us up until 8:40. The Monday rush hour traffic (or perhaps it is just normal millions of people living in one city traffic) meant that it took an hour to travel from the hotel to the Jinan Children's Welfare Institute. I was a complete nervous wreck by the time we arrived at the gate.
The building itself is colorful and modern. As we drove in we could see a small pink building with a green roof on our right, and John informed us that this is the "baby hatch", the designated space where people can leave unwanted children at night without fear of prosecution. Unfortunately, many people have left their children at the baby hatch, and we were told that the CWI now cares for more than 600 children, many of whom have significant physical and/or cognitive disabilities.
Angry Driver, Bean, and I followed John in through the front entrance and into a deserted lobby. The entryway was dim with the lights off. It was also cold, but we later found the areas where children were concentrated to be warm and bright. We were greeted by Charlie at the entrance to a large playroom. He is in charge of international adoption paperwork and he also works to get adopted children their passports. He led us into his office, where the walls were plastered with photos of adopted children and their families. There was also a large album on his desk that contained photographs of every adopted child and his/her parents dating back several years.
Nearly immediately, one of the nannies brought in our daughter. The nanny set Pearl down on the floor and pulled out the photo book we had sent in Pearl's care package. In the sweetest and softest little voice, Pearl pointed to the picture of Angry Driver and said "ba ba". She also identified Bean as "ge ge", or brother. She briefly looked up at each of them as she said the words. When her nanny pointed to my picture and said "ma ma", Pearl repeated it and looked up, but would not look at me. The nanny repeated the exercise a few times. Then we crouched down a few feet away from Pearl to try to talk with her. As we expected, she seemed reserved and a bit frightened.
At this point, I recalled the M&Ms I had strategically packed in my purse for just such a situation. Thankfully, Pearl decided she loves M&Ms and she ate one after the other. Well, Bean helped her eat them, but she did consume most of the fun size bag. I then rummaged in my purse and found a fruit strip, which she also accepted from me. She wouldn't let us touch or hold her, but at least she didn't seem terrified.
Meanwhile, we met the woman in charge of international adoptions and also began working on the paperwork. All the while, John and Charlie fluttered around the area filling in forms, directing the flow of events, and taking pictures and video.
We moved into the large common area which had an impressive amount of play equipment. Bean asked Charlie for permission to play with the kids while we took care of forms and fees, and soon he was cavorting merrily with a group of boys who looked to be between the ages of about 5 and 7. Bean ran back at one point to tell me that he wished that he could live at the orphanage too so that he could play with the toys all the time. I laughed, marveling at my son's sweet innocence.
After the paperwork and fingerprinting, we met the kind and professional orphanage director. By this time, Pearl was letting me hold her. She allowed the director to take her into her arms, but she did it reluctantly and kept looking back at me. After gifts were exchanged, we were taken on a tour of the CWI. All of the nannies seemed genuinely fond of Pearl and the other children. In Pearl's classroom, we met her best friends, all of whom were wearing Super Mario vests that matched Pearl's and all of whom, we were told, are being adopted by American families. The children all held hands and posed for pictures and then Pearl handed out some Gerber cereal puffs that we had brought. Bean used to love puffs when he was a toddler and, in fact, every child we have known in the past 7 or 8 years has loved puffs. They are so popular, Angry Driver and I refer to them as crack puffs (it's as though they are addictive). These children couldn't get enough of the puffs either, so I guess the appeal of puffs is universal.
We then walked to the hospital wing of the CWI to take some pictures and video of a little boy whose soon-to-be adoptive mother requested an update. Then our new little family of four, John, and Charlie piled into the van to run adoption errands. I wanted nothing more than to go back to the hotel and spend some quiet family time, but there was a lot that apparently needed to be done posthaste. This was our afternoon schedule of events:
1) Stop at photography studio to get a photo of Pearl, Angry Driver, and me for the adoption decree and a photograph of Pearl for her passport. Bean decided to have a tantrum but then admitted that he was jealous of Pearl. Once we all understood that he felt jealous, he calmed down.
2) Lunch at a hotpot restaurant. Pearl and Bean loved themselves some hotpot. I'm pretty sure our driver did not utter one word during the entire meal.
3) John picked up the photos and we drove to the provincial adoption office to finalize the adoption. The woman working in the international adoption office was sweet, but for some unfathomable reason, two men came in right in the middle of our appointment to rearrange all of the furniture in the office, including the posters on the walls. John seemed surprised when I said that the cacophony was causing me to feel a bit flustered.
4) We then drove to a notary's office to get all the documents notarized. Since Charlie, John, and the notary are old friends, they chatted the whole time. The notary didn't even seem to notice that Angry Driver, Bean, Pearl, or I were in the room.
After dropping Charlie off, we finally returned to the hotel around 4:15 pm. Pearl actually seemed to like the van ride and the office visits. She loved her new clothes and fluffy pink coat, but was extremely bothered by the fact that we did not have shoes for her and she was wearing only tights and socks on her feet. We wanted to make sure that the orphanage got the clothes she was wearing returned to them (especially the shoes since they looked pretty new and were too big for Pearl anyway) and Pearl kindly provided the opportunity for a wardrobe change by having a massive diaper blowout in bumper to bumper traffic.
We gave Pearl her new baby doll (a big hit) and rested for a bit, but then headed down the street to the mall for dinner since Bean was hungry and we had promised him pizza. We were still a main attraction for mall goers, but tonight they seemed a bit perplexed to see that the toddler in the Kinderpack looked nothing the rest of us. Fortunately, the good employees at KidsWant found us some sturdy pink shoes that Pearl absolutely adores.
Also, as an aside, cheese pizza is not the food to feed your newly adopted Chinese child. I'm pretty sure I've changed more poopy diapers tonight than I did in one month when Bean was little.
As another aside, a man in the mall used his iPad to translate Mandarin into English to tell us about the Good News of the Jehovah's Witnesses.
Finally, we trudged back up to our hotel room one last time and got the kids (Kids! Plural!) ready for bed. Teeth were brushed and flossed without difficulty. Then it was bath time. Pearl LOVED her bubble bath. At first, though, she stood silently in the tub with her head down and her hands on the grab bar so that she could be washed. Obviously, I understand the need for efficiency and routine when caring for children in an institutional setting, but it was still disturbing to witness. Pearl looked more like an elderly nursing home resident tolerating a washing than a 3 year old child. She looked surprised when we sat her down, filled the tub with bubbles, and gave her a cup to use to scoop water. Her skin was quite wrinkled by the time I convinced her to exit the bathtub.
There were some tears and fussing when it came time to go to sleep in the crib, but I held her and sang to her for about 10 minutes and she then pointed to the crib and allowed me to place her in it. The doll and lovey had to vacate the crib, but she then settled herself atop the blanket, moved her legs around like a ballerina warming up for the big recital, turned over a few times to make sure I was still sitting next to her, popped two fingers into her mouth, and fell fast asleep. She is still asleep an hour and a half later.
I don't think it has quite hit me yet that Pearl is our child, but it is so amazing to look over and see her sweet face and her little body wearing the clothes we purchased for her months ago. She's finally here in our lives...forever!
Happy Family Day, Little One.
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